“But curvy bodies are sexy.” ... “What if I don’t want to be sexy?” . . . #dysphoria #sexualized #curvy #mybodyisnotforreview #mybodyisnotforyourconsumption #valuewomen #malegaze #patriarchy #unlearning #trauma #stigma #curvybodies
Woke up in my hotel room meditating on bravery because I'm playing Brave Festival today. I think of bravery as doing something that we have learned is unacceptable, either by law or social standard, that we are afraid to do. By that definition, loving myself is the bravest thing I've done. I've done plenty of things that people consider brave - but they didn't scare me. Loving myself was a scary choice to make because it was so unfamiliar. People who are socialized female are taught that we don't have worth outside of men's desire and men's approval. I grew up looking at skinny white women with tiny noses and dainty features in all the media I consumed. I can imagine how even more excluding this was (and is) for women of color and trans folk. I compared myself and judged myself ruthlessly as soon as I was aware I had a body. I have memories of myself as a small child, picking myself apart in the mirror. As I grew up, my body got big. I'm tall and thick. My hands are bigger than most other people's I meet, regardless of their sex. I've had breasts that have been overtly sexualized since I was 13 years old. My legs are thick and men love to tell me about them, as if I don't know. Wearing shorts reads like an invitation for comment. I'm not sure if they are compliments or criticisms but they feel the same, so it doesn't matter. And I'm aware that the comments will stop at some point because I'll reach an age when I'm no longer of "value". These thoughts about my body that came from men on the street, Disney princesses, magazines, and pop-stars - those thoughts became comforting because I'd been thinking them for so long. They were a safety blanket. Letting them go took bravery. I decided to reject those thoughts, to kick them out, to argue them into oblivion. And I lost that familiar feeling, because loving myself is not something I learned growing up. Loving myself was not familiar. It was uncomfortable at first. It is a constant practice that continues to require me to be brave - to reject the patriarchy and to write my own truth. #bodypositive #feminism #selflove #nudeselfie #bravery #selfcare #patriarchy #fuckdisney #smashthepatriarchy #thickbodies #stigma
This is me getting work done. #nappingcat #werking #workday #catatwork #catnap #musicianscat #catplayingguitar #distractionsatwork #mylifeiscutecatvideos #focus #wegotthis #catdidmyhomework #mycatsinmyband